It's been a while since I posted a blog and so I thought I would come on here and quickly give you guys an update. Honestly the reason I haven't posted is because not much has been happening. I have been working remotely since schools shut down back in April and I haven't been teaching in person since. All of Ontario has been in this "lockdown" for 2 months now and we are finally starting to open things up again. Now I put quotations with lockdown because I personally did not think it should have been considered a lockdown. They closed malls, non-essential shopping, restaurants and person care places. So I could shop for food for 4 hours in Walmart but I couldn't buy a pair of socks. It literally made no sense, but I am happy to see we are starting to re-open and I hope all the small business' and personal care shops can open again soon as well. It really frustrated me that the government would allow all of these business to be shut down for this long - knowing the effects it would have on their finances. The kicker is that Wonderland will be re-opening July 7th but I still can't get my bushy eyebrows waxed or my nails painted! So unbelievable.
Since the weather is getting nicer, Joseph and I have been trying to get outside more often and it's a great way to see friends and family. We are so happy because we haven't been able to see people for a very long time as I took the stay at home order very seriously so now we are able to at least sit outside and hang with people for a few hours. We have gone on a few outdoor dates and we have a few more planned in the next coming weekends so I'm just looking forward to spending some quality alone time with Joseph, something we haven't really had since our anniversary back in March. We have been trying to book a cottage sometime in the summer just for the weekend and I can't believe how expensive it is to rent a place for 2 nights. I'm still not really comfortable staying at a hotel right now so were kinda out of luck.
Our dog Theo had some surgery done 2 weeks ago and man let me tell you how stressful that was. My anxiety has been through the roof since he came home and I've been really trying my best to cope with it. It's hard for me because I have these voices in my head and I try to tune them out but most of the time they make it through. My parents and Joseph have a hard time understanding what I am going through and dealing with so they're not really able to connect with me. I think I have come a long way since I started therapy back in December of 2019, so I can say there has been progress and improvement. I don't think my anxiety will ever "go away", I think it's something I will have to learn to deal with for the rest of my life. I am learning that sometimes things are out of my control and I can only control the way I handle myself during those situations. Theo is a very crazy dog, he is also a puppy so he has lots of energy. We were told that he could not participate in any vigorous movements, so no walks, no jumping on furniture, no running in the backyard etc. The day after his surgery he was already trying to do these things. He bounced back from his surgery so well that my family thought he was back to normal. The thing is, Theo doesn't understand what he went through so although he may be acting normal and not feeling any pain, there still was some major work done and he needed rest. We tried our best the first few days to really make sure he didn't do anything that could hurt himself or re-open his incisions but like I said Theo is crazy so he didn't really listen to us. He probably didn't understand what we were trying to do and he is used to running like a bolt around the coffee table. I was so worried about him that for three nights I did not sleep. I had a pit in my stomach and all I could think about was worst case scenario. We had a bit of a scare a few days ago, it looked like his wound opened up and I freaked out. Thankfully the next day it started to get better so hopefully by this Friday we will be able to remove his cone and he can resume regular activity.
On a side note for some positivity a few of my friends got engaged, a few babies birthday's have past and a new baby is on the way! I am so happy for all of my friends and family members celebrating all of these milestones and I can't wait until I can join them in their celebrations. If there is one thing that has been the most challenging during COVID is that I have missed out on so many of these celebrations. My best friends sister had a baby and I have not had the opportunity to even hold him yet and he turns 1 today. My best friend is one of the people I know who got engaged recently and if we were in normal times I probably would have driven to her house the second I found out and jumped on her with excitement. I would do anything to be able to hug my friends, I didn't do it often enough and believe me when this is over I am not letting go.
Ontario confirms only 472 cases today and I couldn't be happier to hear we are getting closer to the end of this. Whatever it takes to get back to normal is my stand point so I am just looking forward to being able to get back to seeing my friends and families and be able to be safe and feel safe, to protect them and myself. Vaccines have been a huge topic lately and it's definitely not something I want to get into as this blog is meant for my journey and not a platform for debts. I have opened up my comment section again because I want to be able to have some positivity shower in because we all could use some. If you remember from my previous post I had turned off the comments because a very rude stranger decided to say some inappropriate things and so now I am ready to hear more positive comments so we can all take part in some good vibes. Thanks for reading my rant today, as always I appreciate you and drop a comment below to spread the love.
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