Early on in my pregnancy, I was about 6 weeks, I was experiencing a lot of pain on my lower right side. Immediately my instinct was that something was wrong with the baby. My mom had 2 ectopic pregnancies so I was so worried that I was experiencing the same thing. After a day of this pain I decided I wanted to go to the hospital to get checked in case I was having a miscarriage. I was so sure something was wrong, I was preparing myself for the worst. I remember I kept saying, "Why would God bless me with this baby just to take it away from me?" At this point in the pregnancy I hadn't had an ultrasound done, I was actually scheduled later that week for my first one. After about 4 hours in the emergency room I was finally taken to get an ultrasound. As I laid there looking up at the ceiling, tears running down my face, I prayed for the baby to be ok. After another 2 hours of waiting we finally got the results from the doctor. Baby was fine, the heart beat was detected and I was not having a miscarriage. All other tests came back negative, so we really don't know what was causing that intense pain but I was thankful that it was nothing serious. Since this is my first pregnancy I really don't know what to expect and what pains are considered "normal".
Later that week I had my first scheduled ultrasound. I was able to see the baby, although very small, I could see the outline of the head and body. I was also able to hear the heartbeat for the first time. It honestly took my breath away. I remember crying because I had so much relief from hearing it, knowing that my baby was alive. I had an appointment with my doctor a week later to discuss the results and she mentioned to me that the heartbeat was slightly lower then what it should have been. Again, a rush of anxiety filled my body, another scare? Why is this happening? She recommended a repeat ultrasound 2 weeks later, so at that point I would be 9 weeks. The 2 week anticipation was brutal. Of course I googled potential issues with lower heart rate and the results were disturbing. I was trying so hard in those 2 weeks to stay positive. I prayed every night to protect the baby. I kept thinking to myself how will I get through this if I lose the baby.
Finally it was ultrasound day and I was so nervous in the waiting room. The tech was really sweet and let me look at the baby and hear the heartbeat. I mentioned why I was doing a repeat ultrasound and she let me know that the heart was beating at 170 which for how far along I am, was good. I was a little more relaxed but I wasn't going to get my hopes up until I heard it from my doctor. A week later I went to see my doctor to discuss the results and I was shaking waiting to speak with her. She was able to confirm that the heart beat was normal and that everything else seemed to be fine. Another weight lifted off my shoulder knowing that the baby was ok.
Two scares in a matter of a few weeks was so terrifying. The hardest part of dealing with potential issues in pregnancy is that I am carrying the baby, so every emotion I feel, they feel and unfortunately there is nothing in my control that I can do to help the baby other then being in control of my emotions. So although all I wanted to do was crawl in bed and cry, I knew I had to continue a normal routine for the baby's sake. I was forcing myself to eat and rest and go to work everyday while fighting the urge to want to give up. Also at this point the only people who knew were my husband and my parents so it felt extremely lonely. I am thankful for my family for keeping me going and supporting me during this difficult time. I don't know what I would have done without them. Now having a baby growing inside me has really taught me what's important in life and what is worth my energy and time. I want to take care of my body more so now than ever because it is the vessel that is growing my baby. So my mental and physical state is so important to ensure I am giving the baby the best environment to thrive.
At 12 weeks my doctor ordered whats called a Noninvasive prenatal testing or NIPT for short. Which is bloodwork that screens for chromosome abnormalities in a fetus. I was also ordered another ultrasound where I was able to see the baby so much more clearly (the picture above). The head and body were more defined and I could see the outline of their nose and mouth. 2 weeks later I meet with my doctor to review the results and thankfully they were negative. We were so overjoyed and relieved and now we could finally share the news with more people. Later that night we began texting some of of friends and family and of course we got so many wonderful messages. It was all finally starting to feel real.
Now currently I am writing this at 15 weeks and in another week from now Joe and I will be celebrating 2 years of marriage and a baby on the way! I feel so blessed to have such amazing and supportive people in my life that I get to share this journey with and can't wait to begin all the fun stuff (like shopping lol).
Until next time my readers,
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